Reality can be a harsh, unyielding truth that’s difficult to accept and even harder to live with. Sometimes the things that happen to us are beyond our control, and we find ourselves in situations so overwhelming that we can’t handle them emotionally or mentally. Although it can seem like there’s no way out, there are plenty of ways to cope when bad things happen in your life. The following tips can help you make it through challenging times and get back on your feet again.
1) Acknowledge that it's happening
It's hard to deal with something when you can't bring yourself to admit it's happening. If a bad thing has just happened, think about whether there are any ways in which you are trying not to face up to what has just occurred. Recognizing that it is indeed a bad thing can go a long way toward helping you resolve your reaction and cope more appropriately. For example, if you failed an exam or lost an important client, acknowledge that failure and disappointment are part of life. They happen to everyone at some point or another. What matters most is how we respond once they occur—and how we can learn from them going forward.
2) Accept the feelings
Feeling sad, afraid, or angry? Those are normal feelings. It’s okay to cry or be upset; it’s part of being human. The key is to accept what you’re feeling without letting it consume you. If you focus on understanding why you feel a certain way, you can understand yourself better and also work through these difficult emotions more effectively. By accepting your feelings and moving on instead of trying to hide them, push them away, or pretend they don't exist, you'll be able to confront reality head-on—and even use it as an opportunity for growth. Sometimes facing our fears is just that: a fear. So take a deep breath and take one small step at a time toward dealing with whatever's causing your anxiety. Here are some ideas for doing so:
Ways to Cope With Death (from Someone Who Knows)
1. Accept That Grief Is Normal, But Don't Let It Consume You.
2. Talk About Your Loved One (or Pet) in Past Tense.
3. Try Not to Feel Guilty About Moving On With Your Life After They've Passed Away
4. Give Yourself Permission to Be Sad, Angry, or Anxious
5. Remember That It's Okay to Take Time for Yourself
6. Let Go of Perfectionism
7. Don't Be Afraid of Change
8. Remember that Grief Is a Journey, Not a Destination
9. Remember That Everyone Deals with Loss Differently
10. Know That You Are Never Alone and There Are People Who Care About You
3) Reflect on ways it could be worse
This is not as morose as it sounds. Give yourself time and space to think through things before coming up with solutions. If you have a problem, try thinking about what other problems people might have that are worse than yours. This can help you put your own situation in perspective, which will give you a greater chance of finding a positive resolution or learning from your mistakes. Think about a bad grade on an exam in school. A failing grade is disappointing for sure, but not nearly as catastrophic as failing out of school altogether. A negative career review at work isn't as bad if you've got some savings built up for your family's future security instead of living paycheck-to-paycheck without one, without any assets accumulated over time.
4) Remind yourself you are going to get through this
No matter how bad you feel, no matter how dark and alone you feel right now, remind yourself that feelings are not facts. Your feelings change; there’s no guarantee that they’ll stay exactly as they are. Acknowledge what you’re feeling: Being afraid is OK, it's a normal human emotion. Feelings don't need names or labels to be valid or real - just let them happen without judging them too harshly or yourself for having them. By naming your feelings fear rather than avoiding them with food or other distractions, you can begin working through those thoughts in a healthy way instead of running from your pain by numbing out entirely.
5) Tell yourself it will pass, eventually
In case of a tragedy or tragedy, don’t dwell on it. Don’t dwell on how things will never be good again. Tell yourself that life is short and that there are millions of opportunities in front of you. Focus on all your blessings and start taking action right away. There’s no time for wallowing. There’s no time for sadness. Take control of your thoughts and let them lead you forward into a better future.
6) Think about what you can do right now
Sometimes, when we're in a deep funk, it can be hard to imagine how things could possibly improve. But, trust us: You will feel better at some point in time—you just have to hold on until that happens. In many cases, though, people find it helpful to focus on what they can do right now and what they are capable of achieving. It's easy to get caught up in your feelings, but try not to let that happen. Instead, remind yourself of all you've accomplished so far and all you're capable of doing. For example, if you've made it through an entire day without crying or calling your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend (or whatever), give yourself credit for that accomplishment! It may seem small or insignificant, but every little bit helps. And remember: Every bad day eventually comes to an end.
7) Ask for help if you need it
Dealing with a traumatic event or major loss can make people feel as if they’re drowning. If you find yourself in that position, it’s OK to ask for help. Don’t be afraid of being a burden; accept support and realize that you’re not alone. In fact, don’t be surprised if there are many other people experiencing what you are right now. What seems like unique tragedy is actually far more common than most people think (and everyone has a way of handling it). There is no one right way to cope with trauma. Try different things until you find something that works for you. A good place to start is by reaching out to family and friends—they may have some great suggestions on how best to handle your situation. And remember: It’s OK if you need extra time to deal with your emotions. Just know that time will heal your wounds, even though it might seem impossible at first.
8) Find ways to distract yourself
Sometimes life’s just too hard and we can’t face what’s in front of us. When that happens, it’s okay to take a step back from reality for a bit—but only if you find healthy ways to distract yourself. Here are some ideas: Watch your favorite movies or TV shows (popcorn optional). Play your favorite video games. Exercise. Watch animal videos on YouTube. Start a new hobby (yoga, knitting, or wine making are great options). Volunteer at a local organization or charity. Find comfort in familiar foods; try cooking some of your old favorites or making something new with fresh ingredients. Take a bath with candles and essential oils. Text an old friend; they always know how to cheer you up!
9) Focus on how strong you are
It's okay to take a day or two—even weeks—to feel your feelings and let yourself grieve. It's important, though, not to stay in that place too long. The time will come when you have no choice but to face reality again. In those moments, remember that you have always had strength within you; it just needed some time to appear. Now is when you can be thankful for all of your many blessings and things that make you happy. Get ready: We know things will get better. Just keep swimming!
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